Angela · One Volunteer’s Story

May 28th, 2008

It’s a trying time, being a Hillary Clinton supporter.  One part of you says that I shouldn’t even be writing this, and the other says that it needs to be said.  I shouldn’t be uttering words of concession.  Where do the boundaries of loyalty end and practicality begin?  The truth is, these thoughts have been with me since the Indiana primary, when I saw what every other political junkie witnessed that night.  As the point difference went from ten to eight to five to…….by 2am I had to call it a night.  Senator Clinton’s speech said it all-it was a surprise and I looked to her for how I should feel.  I know how I felt, but how did she want me to feel?  I felt defeated.  I asked myself, what could I have done to prevent this?  We expected a defining win and when that didn’t happen, it was just enough to get Chris Matthews going, and even Tim Russert.  I was anxious.  I awoke wondering what I would hear from the campaign-was this the day that so many people have been waiting for?  To my relief, Senator Clinton emerged composed and refreshed in West Virginia. 


This is where the mixed emotions kick in.  I am a Democrat and never fail to see the full scope of the political climate.  No one does.  It’s there-and if you don’t see it, there are 1001 media avenues painting the picture for you.  Since Indiana, every time you see Senator Clinton’s coverage on TV or in print, it always comes with this harassing undertone of “oh, poor girl.  She’s still trotting along.”  This infuriates me.  Once my state’s primary was over, the paid team was gone.  The buzz was gone. All the people that came out of the woodwork went back in-and you have to struggle to find an outlet for your continued persistence to the effort.  The best you can do is long-distance phone banking and possibly travel to the other states, which is difficult in itself.  You have to hope that the local volunteers have the same passion you did when Hillary was in your state.  And you wait, watching the Senator’s appearances on TV, reading her coverage, diligently following the campaign’s movements.  All the while, you wonder if this is the right thing.  I secretly hope that Hillary stays in until the convention.  I secretly hope that by some miracle, the remaining uncommitted superdelegates will put her over the threshold and she will defeat Obama and win the general.  I know Senator Clinton would make the best president.  But I look away when they talk now.  I don’t know what to say when my friends ask me, what is happening with the campaign?  Black robes?  VP?  It seems as though Senator Clinton is the only one not getting discouraged.  That is why I continue to show my support-that is the type of President we need.  She gives me strength when it should be the other way around.


Political campaigning, when done right, is a momentous endeavor.  When you truly back a candidate or an issue, you put yourself out there as well.  It defines you.  When I say I am a staunch Democratic Clinton supporter, it defines me.  People judge me off of those words.  And I judge them off of theirs, too.  You have to be comfortable with that.  But the beauty of it is, you do find solace in knowing that win or lose, it was the reflection of our great Democratic society.  Win or lose, I know Senator Clinton is the best person to be our next President.  If the process decides otherwise, I will accept that. 

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